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Jin Be Jin is vanishing
The monopoly of father or brother was the major reason behind that style
of engagement..
Hawlati Newspaper
By: Shanaz Hassan
Saryas is a 23 yours old young, his face is always look sad and
desperate, he is in black whenever you see him. The divorce of his
parent which they married in Jin Be Jin style made a great impact on his
psychology.
"My uncle forced my mother and made her agree to marry, after five year
of marriage they divorced while they had me and my sister" said Saryas.
He sadly said my parent ended their marriage life by their own hands,
they brought us to this life and let us alone.
Now Saryas`s mother remarried and his father took another wife he made
my sister work as a servant of his new wife, I live with my uncle`s
family now I am the most despaired person in the world, I have no hope
in this life, absence of mum and dad, left no happiness in my life. The
Jin Be Jin trend in Kurdish society and especially in the agricultural
and rural communities was the fundamental manner of engagement, when
someone proposed to marry a girl, her family where asking to have a girl
from the proposing family for their own son in the opposite as a
condition on their agreement. Sometimes it happened between relatives
that the groom`s sister had to marry a brother of the bride just to make
the process successful and sometimes the father was scarifying his
daughter just to take a second wife.
Jin Be Jin is a very dreadful trend, it is not fair, for the happiness
of two persons who are in love, you come and destroy other family`s
life, my uncle had his own beloved woman and to achieve her, he
sacrificed my mother and now we pay for that by our sufferings. Overall,
I am happy to know that this trend is disappearing affected by those
miserable situations that Jin Be Jin caused to his family said Saryas.
As mentioned by (Victims of Jin Be Jin), that process happens due to
obligation applied by family members. In patriarch communities, father
and brother monopoly of power and decision was the main cause of that
style of marriage, in which problems rise after the marriage process and
sometimes it develops to degradation of one of the families and second
one will be forced to face the same fate without having any problem
deserve that they breakaway .
Baxan Jaza 34 years. Married by Jin Be Jin, said that his her father
forced her agree to that marriage and mentioned that his father`s force
to make her agree reached death threat. my father sacrificed me for the
sake of his brother, what makes me so sad is that my father never
thought about me as a part of him, and never thought about me even for a
moment.
This woman said that the first two years of her life were unstable but
said her two daughters changed her life. My husband and I decided to
grant the kind of life to our two daughters that we couldnt have. Said
Baxan
It is for some years that trend is in vanishing but there is no quit
formal statistic on that because in the formal marriage agreement there
is no any kind of mention for that style, and mostly remain like a
social treaty among the two families, they dont let the Mullah who
makes the engagement process to know that it is the Jin Be Jin style
unless disagree with it.
Zara Ahmed, 50 year, is another victim of Jin Be Jin when she was 15 her
father and uncle forced her to marry a man 21 year older than her. Zara
added, no one could down the father and uncle`s word, the last word was
for them so they forced me to marry in that young age and it wasnt in
my favor, but they did that because I was a pretty and for the favor of
my cousin to have a wife. She added, at that time it was shame for a
young man to be unable to find wife in his village and marry a
foreigner. As she said they sacrificed her for her cousin
I had no any problem with my husband until now but we dont love each
so much said Zara despite that the Kurdish society known as Islamic
community but the Jin Be Jin trend persist, while as religious man
(Mullah) said that trend is (prohibited) in Islam religion.
(Our profit prohibited the Jin Be Jin trend) because the dowry is not
defined in this style of marriage also added (it is possible only in two
conditions, first if dowry defined, second if swabbing wasnt considered
as a condition for that marriage) Said Ahmed Khalil a religious man to
Hawlati.
He also said that this trend happens very rarely in now days. It is for
many years I didnt saw cases like this, if I know it is Jin Be Jin I
never agree to make that engagement. I hope this trend disappear in our
society. In the same time social workers say increasing awareness of
people is the main reason for this trend disappearing.
Jihad Omer a social worker in Sulaimaniah court, mentioned that this
trend is disappearing in the Kurdish society it if for 12 years I am
working in this court and I didnt saw any case like this referred to
the court
That worker mentioned to Jin Be Jin as a mistake that shouldnt be
followed anymore because it is a process based on material things
therefore it is imposable for those two marriages to succeed and form a
pleased life.
Translated by:Muhammed Latif |
